Greg wore these pants with a pride that resembled that of a soldier in a moment of glory. The beloved pants became worn and faded but never discarded as he faced and endured and lost his greatest battle, his fight with a ravenous disease that ultimately took his life...Greg, our gentle warrior, had the makings of a great soldier. He showed courage in the face of adversity...He left us all with a legacy of hope.

Butterflies are free and Sabrina can fly. My beautiful Sabrina, I remember the day you bought your pretty blue butterfly t-shirt…It was your favourite shirt. You wore it with your faded jeans and your red, wavy hair falling gently over your shoulders.


Humid memories in the fabric Pale T-shirt Dark Blue Butterfly ... Long to hold her close again Felt Sabrina's ribs through Humid memories, blue fabric "I love you."

This was our last vacation together…Paula asked if we could stop in Freeport, Maine. She wanted to buy an Abercrombie & Fitch shirt…She wore it so proudly when school opened that fall…I just wish she could have worn it so much more…You have so many dreams and plans for your child.

I hope that by using this sweater of my uncle's, you can set the grief free as it never has been done before. My Uncle John died in 1934 and so I never met him. Because of the way my family responded to his death, I knew only his name and a few particulars of how he died...Some fifty years later, it became my task to go through the family possessions and this is when I found his sweater and a photograph of him, a handmade plane and some hockey cards. He was a handsome, bright and kindly looking boy. I know he played badminton with my mother and sadly for me, this is all I know, and so there is a hole in the fabric of my life. I know a little of the kind of grief that cannot bear scrutiny or expression but there should be a better way to carry on.

Oh Laura…You were our beautiful, clever and funny baby, the dazzling centre of our little family. Your father and I never imagined how little time would pass between our holding you as a newborn, and again as you took your final breath...Although we've carefully given away most of your things to the people who knew and loved you, your favourite clothes still hang in your closet...the lucky #10 jersey...We will never forget the look on your oncologist's face when you told him that you had just played in a soccer game before entering palliative care! Typical Laura...We embrace your spirit with our hearts.

Rebecca was our first child. We were told on her fifth day of life that she would not likely make it through the night. And while she stayed with us for 14½ years, we had to grieve the loss of the "normal child" from the start…I picked this set of clothing because it is soft like her; she had the softest hands (though a mean pinch when she wanted to get her point across). We had this game: I would say "kisses for Rebecca" and she would extend her hand so I could kiss it...Having a child with a disability is hard and isolating. You lose friends because they can't deal with it...Once the person with the disability is gone you have a really hard time adjusting to "normal life," but it's not normal because you are mourning, and again you lose friends because they can't deal with your loss. Rebecca taught us and so many others so much. She was a bright light and she will be forever missed.

This little cover up was purchased for Heather on our first trip to St. Lucia when she was thirteen years old. Her happy and carefree personality shone there. She got up and did the limbo with other guests, most of them adults, the first night of our stay...She said wearing this skirt made her feel "all grown up like the ladies." She loved anything with flames or rainbows on it.

I just finished ironing the t-shirt…I gave this to Nick on his 15th birthday…Nick loved cartoons…He had grown into an amazing artist…He left behind books and books of his artwork. These pictures and the stories behind them help us on our way through this grief...Nick's brother, Jordan, wore this t-shirt briefly and I told him of this project and what I wanted to do with it. He gave me his okay. It was also okay with my wife...Death has a way of making you realize what is really important in life. Family and friendships are more important than they were before.

Matthew, the meaning of your name is Gift of God and you were truly that to us…His beautiful smile made of sunshine, his heart of pure gold. His personality a rare gem to behold. Matthew filled our hearts with so much love and joy. He touched our lives, our darling boy.

I look at that t-shirt with the cartoon guy, funny grin on his face and gesturing with his outstretched arms saying, "Whatever," and I laugh each time I see it. I think of you saying the same thing many times, Yael, in response to different situations…I remember with pain, with happiness, with sadness, but above all, I remember, and Yael's melody plays in the background of my mind all the time.